esmaspäev, märts 22, 2004

Terrorist Theatre, Scene 1: "A Very Strong Speech"

One of the many things about the Richard Clarke interview that stood out to me was Lesley Stahl insisting that Clarke should give Bush crediting for handling himself so well in the aftermath of the attacks, appearing strong, and giving such a good speech.

Because, you know, those terrorists, they sure do hate a good speech. Almost as much as they hate freedom. I can just imagine two terrorists in a van full of explosives on their way to blow up some national landmark, but then Bush’s speech comes on the radio:

Terrorist 1: He handles himself quite well.
Terrorist 2: Indeed. Better than I had expected.
Terrorist 1: We did not prepare for this. It appears our plans are ruined.
Terrorist 2: If only he didn’t handle himself so well.
Terrorist 1: I know. This is a great speech.
Terrorist 2: His words wound me.
Terrorist 1: Much like his freedom burns me. His freedom and my raging syphilis.
Terrorist 2: If he continues to handle himself so well, all hope is lost.
Terrorist 1: I cannot take another speech like this. Surely, it would kill me.
Terrorist 2: We must pray for Allah’s protection.
Terrorist 1: Even Allah cannot protect us from these strong words.
Terrorist 2: Then we shall retreat to our caves and never speak of America again.
Terrorist 1: Agreed. Let us abandon this jihad. The American’s speeches are simply too strong.
Terrorist 2: Did he just say “nuke-u-lar”?


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